Baby Jesus

MamaCue's family joined us Christmas Eve for supper, gift exchanging, and stories and carols at our church. One of Slane's great-grandparents got Slane a new doll for Christmas, clad in lavender clothes. Up to now, Slane's babies have never had names, but she has named her new doll Baby Jesus.

An acquaintance of mine warned us about this. As a little girl, she had named one of her dolls Jesus. Then she lost that doll. She went looking for it, calling out, "Where is Jesus?"

I hope we do not lose this doll because I am not ready for the deep theological discussions with Slane that may spring from figuring out where Jesus is.

I NEEEEED Baby Jesus!!!

Lately Slane NEEEEEEEEDS things. She can put a lot of emotion behind that. "I neeeeed fruit snacks!" "I neeeeeeeed Street!" "I neeeeeeeed yogurt!"

Lately Slane has also been into Baby Jesus and the Christmas story. We read it in her rhyming story Bible every night, multiple times. She skips ahead to the baby part every time. Last week at church while we were in the nursery she found the Little People nativity and grabbed baby Jesus, trying to give him to various people. Last night she discovered two nativity scenes at my parents' church, and had to go check out the baby Jesus in each one. She even snagged a doll from the nursery and named it baby Jesus.

Our nativity scene at home is a very small ceramic set with all characters connected together and connected to the base. Slane was upset recently when she wanted baby Jesus and couldn't have him, because I could just picture the whole thing being thrown and shattered. So to tell me how upset she was by this, she yelled, "I NEEEEEED baby Jesus!!!" If I were a pastor, there would so be a sermon here, but since I'm not, well, doesn't this seem like a lesson for us?

All I want for Christmas is a cardboard box

Did you know that the lowly cardboard box is a member of the National Toy Hall of Fame? Jason at Dad-o-Matic says the cardboard box is the best gift "Because it leaves a little to the imagination." The box is a palette for possibility.

Slane does have toys that flash and beep, but lately she has been most interested in art, dolls, physical play (dancing and climbing) and reading. Yes, she requests Yo Gabba Gabba!, Sesame Street, and hockey, but those seem to the soundtrack to her play. 

Because Slane does not know this blog exists, I can share that she will get gifts that encourage her creativity and curiosity: building blocks, duplos, and art supplies will be coming Christmas morning. I don't think we will give her a cardboard box for Christmas, but we did save the large box from her new car seat. It's a Slane-sized playhouse. With the latest blast of cold and the arrival of plastic sheeting, our other Christmas gift, a backyard rink, just needs water.

(Photo credit: Buddhalabs.)

boots

We were out of essentials, like yogurt and cheese, so I took Slane to the store with me after I picked her up. On a Friday, at 5:00, with a potential snow coming. We had finally found a pair of snowboots that fit Slane (thanks Land's End), and she is alternately all about wearing them and all about not wearing them.




When I picked her up, she was wearing them. By the time we got to the store (all of 5 minutes) they were off. I put them back on, got her out of the carseat, and went into the store. Now, this store has "car" carts, unfortunately. Slane loves riding in the car. So we start our shopping. She immediately needed an apple, so I grabbed a bag, opened it, and gave her an apple. We continued shopping. When we got to the meat counter, Slane started to climb out of the car. But, she didn't have her boots on. So, we searched the store as far as we had been, and no boots anywhere. I pulled aside a worker and asked if anyone had turned in any boots. She searched the store, and offered to check the parking lot for me. I waited for her for a while but she never came back, so I continued shopping.





Of course, by this point Slane was done with the car, and I was carrying her. And wearing a down coat, and trying to push the car around the store. The store was very busy, and our car was in the way quite often. Slane wanted to walk, but I wouldn't let her without shoes on, and so I was holding a squirmy toddler for most of the rest of our shopping. I remembered that we were also out of bread, so I grabbed a loaf, which Slane hijacked from me, and hugged like a teddy bear the rest of the way through the store. Eventually we made it to the checkout, still no boots to be found. I asked our checker if anyone had found them yet. Then I told her I would check our car, and if they weren't there I would come back. Slane refused to give up the now smashed loaf of bread, and I had to hold her and the bread over the scanner.





Well, when we got out to the car, there they were, on the floor. I don't know how I missed that she had kicked them off again. Oh, and I forgot some of the important things on my list and had to go to the store again on Saturday.

Remembering our veterans, part II

Yesterday, I posted a story about Slane's great-grandfather and his military service. In writing the post, I asked my parents (GrannieCue and Papa Smurf) to share their stories of family who served and their own stories. Today, I post a story from GrannieCue about a wedding proposal she received from a solider:

That guy was a man I met on one of our family vacations. I was a teenager and ordered to watch Aunt D in the swimming pool at a motel. This guy, who was on vacation with his family as well, kept swimming around us. Eventually, he asked D for my name. (I was really mad at her for telling him cause he was kind of creepy, but very good- looking.) We started talking and vowed we would write each other when we returned to our homes. He was from Dixon, Illinois.

We wrote to each other for quite a while. He also came by bus to Columbus several times, often arriving at 5:30 AM, so your grandfather would drive me down to the bus station to pick him up. Your grandfather, by the way, liked him very much because he always addressed him as "Sir."

He was drafted to go to Vietnam, which made me sad even though I still didn't have romantic feelings for him. I didn't want anyone I knew to go there. He was ready to go and fight for his country and wrote me from there many times. Your grandmother and I would bake cookies (her famous oatmeal chocolate chip) and pack them in popped corn so they had that to eat, too. We sent many gifts of food during his tour. He sent me many pictures and gifts as well.

When he finished his tour in Vietnam, he went home to Illinois and almost immediately came to Columbus to see me. Without my knowledge (or consent, for that matter), he went to my parents and asked my father for my hand in marriage. I wasn't ready to marry anyone and still had spent more time writing him than spending time WITH him. He was very upset with me and told me that he would sign up for a second tour of duty in Vietnam if I did not marry him right away. I told him I couldn't so he went back to Vietnam. I never saw nor heard from him again. I have always felt in my heart than he must have died in Vietnam, although his name is not on the memorial.

Remembering our veterans

Yesterday, the United States paused and recognized military service on Veterans Day. (Learn more about the history of Veterans Day.) Many in the U.S. and abroad recognized military veterans. If you watch a hockey game tonight, you may still see a poppy on the lapels of the bench coaches. (Explanation here, courtesy of Paul Lukas.) 



In a provocative post about Veterans Day, Penelope Trunk reflects on choices we make to serve (or not serve) in the military make and how these choices ripple through our lives and the lives of those around us. The story she shares about her parents inspired me to share my own story of the ways war affected my life.

Grandpa Daniel graduated from Tri-State University (now Trine) in 1940. He went to work after graduation, but recognized that the United States was headed into World War II. Congress had recently passed a law instituting a military draft signed into law by then-president Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Rather than wait to be drafted, Grandpa and his friends enlisted before their draft numbers were called. He had some prior health conditions that could affect his eligibility, so he made sure found a recruiting office with standards he could exceed. Grandpa served in the Pacific theatre, putting his engineering and mechanical skills to work for the U.S. Army Air Forces (now its own branch of military, the U.S. Air Force). He never shared with me all that he saw and experienced, but it was clear to me that his military service during had a profound effect on his life.

Following the end of the war, he came to Columbus, Ohio. After meeting and marrying my Grandma (another story for another day), having GrannieCue and Aunt J, and moving into a house, the United States military prepared for a skirmish on the Korean Peninsula. Grandpa, a reserve officer at the time, was called up to active duty. They sought volunteers to work at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, 70 miles away in Dayton. Grandpa volunteered, not knowing what would happen. He spent the duration of the Korean War (1951-55) communting between home and Wright-Pat, having Aunt D during the war. (Lori Tagg wrote On The Front Line Of R&D, about Wright-Pat and the Korean War.)

Following the Korean War, Grandpa served the rest of his professional career as an officer at the Defense Construction and Supply Center in Columbus (now the Defense Supply Center Columbus). He retired as a Lieutenant Colonel two months before I was born.

I emailed GrannieCue for her memories of Grandpa's service. Here's what she wrote back: 

Your grandfather retired from the Air Force as a Lt Col. He was very proud of his service in both WWII and Korea. His dream was to be a pilot (one he had from childhood) and, although he piloted several planes, he was never at the helm when they took off or landed. (He was never trained for that.). Although we know he was in the South Pacific, he didn't talk about it much. After viewing some of what our guys had to endure at Rantoul AFB when captured by the Japanese, I am not surprised. (Q note: GrannieCue and Papa Smurf visited the Chanute Air Museum in Rantoul, Illinois.) He spent some time training before going overseas at Rantoul. As a matter of fact, he actually met someone there from McConnelsville, his home town!

After we kids grew up and left home, he and your grandmother travelled all over the world EXCEPT anywhere near Asia. He refused to go there. He spent his time in the Korean War stateside, but far from home. When he left, I was about Slanes's age and Aunt J was a baby. He cried the day he left us to, once again, go to war. (Aunt D was born nine months after he returned home!). He made many lifelong friends during his time in the service and corresponded with and met with them until he was too ill to travel.

Interesting note: His two brothers went into the Navy and Marines. I have always found that interesting that the three of them enlisted in different branches of the service.

In a future post, I hope to share more stories of how our family has been affected by military service.

a different kind of corsage

The weather this weekend was beautiful, and we chose to spend Saturday afternoon strolling around town. We went downtown for lunch, stopped at various stores looking at various items, stopped to pick up the mail, and then after a couple hours of that headed home. Now, before we left, Slane insisted on wearing a Little Swimmer. If you have any experience with Little Swimmers, they are not made for absorption. We put a real diaper on top of the swimmer.

Slane was starting to get really fussy on our way home, we just assumed it was time for a nap. Then Q got her out of the stroller, and she was soaked. She had soaked through the stroller. We happened to be in front of Bates Flower Shop. So, we stopped in and asked Mr. Jim if we could do a diaper change in his shop. "Sure," he said, "you can use the corsage room. It is more private."

So, after we got some of the glitter off of Slane's little bottom, we thanked everyone there and got ready to leave. But, Mr. Jim has grandkids about Slane's age, and wouldn't let us leave without a pink helium filled balloon. It only lasted three blocks, but Slane loved it! She bounced it around and watched what the wind did with it.

I was prepared for a meltdown when the balloon was let go of and lost forever, but Slane took it very well. "Bye bye balloon. Bye bye," she said, as she watched it get stuck in a tree branch. She looked at it longingly as we kept walking, and then moved on to the fact that her hat had fallen off.

So, the next time you get a corsage, be warned that Slane has also been there.

Hyfrydol

We had a date night on September 22nd. We decided we had some shopping to do so we headed to our nearest outlet mall. Shopping without a toddler is a wonderful thing. I bought a new maternity shirt, realizing that I didn't have enough for a full-time job. Before we left I used the ladies room and noticed some spotting. I told Q, we decided I would keep an eye on it but it was probably nothing to worry about. At the time I thought I was 8 weeks pregnant, but it turned out I was 10 weeks along. We hadn't told a lot of people (not even our moms), and had nicknamed the baby Hyfrydol (following in our use of hymn tunes for a name).

The next day there was more spotting, and I was a little concerned since I hadn't had that with Slane, so I called the clinic and they had me come in. Our doctor was out that day so we saw the doc who delivered Slane (well, was there anyway, the surgeon should really get the credit for delivery). Dr. W ordered an ultrasound and I went in Friday morning bright and early.

We saw the baby on the ultrasound, and commented on how it looked like a shrimp. As we sat in the waiting room watching the birds that we visited so often when I was in labor with Slane, I convinced myself that everything was okay.

Then Dr. W pulled us aside into a private room, and we knew the results were not good. Dr. W told us that there wasn't a heartbeat detected, and I would lose the baby. He gave me his cell number and told me to call him as things progressed.

Now, we had purposely not done anything to prevent this pregnancy, as we had waited the year we were told after a C-section, and I specifically wanted a baby to come in the late spring/early summer so I could spend more than 6 weeks with the little one. I only got two weeks of leave (and 5 days of that was in the hospital) with Slane and wanted more with this one. Hyfrydol was due April 23rd, the week of Easter, and I already had an argument why the C-section should be on the 20th, which will be my Grandpa's 90th birthday. We were very "if it happens, great, and if it doesn't, that's okay too" with this baby, and initially that was our shock protector.

Fortunately there weren't any students at school that day and my co-teacher did a wonderful job of distracting me and we sang songs all day and left early. Q had to officiate a game that night, so I was home alone with Slane and I was a wreck, so I put her in the stroller and went for a walk, hoping Slane's godparents were home and could help me out. They were home, and were having steak, and once I told them what was up they played with Slane and distracted me some more (thanks so much J and D). We spent the next day at home as a family, and I went out and bought a cheesecake (confort food).

I was feeling fine the next week, though I was bleeding more steadily, and had no idea when the actual miscarriage would happen. The people I immediately work with all knew in case I had to leave suddenly or did not show up at school. I did not tell my administrators, as they didn't even know I was pregnant. This week was a strange week. I remember that I had stopped taking prenatal vitamins, but technically was still pregnant so was careful about other stuff. It was like being in limbo. We went out for dinner one night that week and I had wine and felt so guilty. Being pregnant with a baby that is not alive, a baby that the doctor says "you just need to wait for the tissue to die as the body does not receive feedback from the baby."

Friday, October 1, I woke up not feeling great. I was crampy. I knew we had a sub shortage that day, and went to school. I had my toughest class first thing that day, and they were not doing well. I was not doing well. I remember wanting to be like, "I'm losing my baby, please be good to me today. I can't handle behavior issues today." But it didn't matter. They were awful. As soon as they left I knew I couldn't handle school. I needed to be away where I could worry about me and not much else. I spent the first half hour of my planning time in tears.

I went to the nurse first, but she was in a meeting. I went on to the office, and told the secretary that I needed to go home. Now. She said if I could find people to cover my classes I could go. There wasn't anyone to cover my classes as classes were already being covered for an hour at a time by other specialists. I went back to my room and sent two emails. The first I sent to the teachers whose classes I had later in the day, asking if they could please have the "be respectful" talk with their kids as I wasn't feeling well but couldn't go home. The second email went to my union rep, asking who I could file a complaint with in human resources.

While all of this was going on, Dan had called our pastor and she was praying about the situation, and I had a message from an old friend saying she was praying for comfort for me that day (she knew what was going on, C, you are the best!).

After the first two classes, I got a phone call from the associate principal telling me to go home and offering to send someone to help me to my car. Two minutes later my union rep came in and told me to go home. She said she had responded as soon as she was finished subbing for someone. I don't know what she said to the associate principal, but I will be forever thankful. I do know she had a meeting with the superintendent about this issue.

I went home and slept for a while and then headed over to pick up Slane from daycare, but the miscarriage started on the way. I was on campus looking for Q so he could tell me where the carseat car was parked, and bled through my jeans before I could make it to the car. I met one of our international students as I was looking for Q, and I appreciate that she helped me find him, as she could tell something was very wrong with me. I picked up Slane, and we hung out in the bathroom at home.

She was getting restless though, and I needed help, so I called Q whose acting director let him take a break from the registration table at family weekend so he could bring over one of our student babysitters (guess we hired them for a reason), and she hung out with Slane until Q could come home. By then the worst was over. I called in sick on Monday, and about a week later it was all over.

I've had a lot of thoughts about what has happened, and sometimes the littlest things make me cry. Like, last week I read in the minutes of some meeting at school how thankful the administration is that people are willing to reschedule medical stuff so they can be at school, or when the principal mentioned that we have to give people their planning time (two classes had to give up their planning time that day with barely any notice). I've appreciated the emails from the union saying that if we are sick, we need to say that we are sick and go home. It is not our responsibility to find a replacement. Too little, too late? and no apology.

Right now the hardest thing is seeing other people talking about their babies, having babies, or posting their ultrasounds on facebook. Last week, on October 15th, I learned about a support website (thanks cousin-in-law K), and that has been helpful. But the same day a dear cousin announced that his second baby would be due in May. I didn't handle that well. I am excited, but I can't say that yet.

I wish there was more out there about miscarriage, both to help others understand, but to help those of us who have gone through it realize that there is nothing to be embarrassed about, and that it happens to more people than we think or know. Why do we keep this a secret? Is it too awkward? If people knew, would they be more sensitive? Do we think that maybe if we share we will jinx someone else's pregnancy?

I tell people that I'm lucky. I have one healthy, happy child already. I hadn't been trying for years only to lose hope again, as some I've talked to have (and one acquaintance miscarried an in vitro pregnancy, which seems worse somehow). We will likely have more chances. But I still lost a baby.

The people who knew before this have been so nice. I appreciate the cards and emails and messages. I am thankful for the counseling session with our pastor. I am glad other family members have shared their experiences. I will always wonder what Hyfrydol would have been like.

no use crying over spilled...juice

Well. Our last 36 hours have been carazy! Let's start with Sunday morning when Slane refused to get dressed for church and we were 20 minutes late. She screamed, cried, wriggled away from us, and the outfit we ended up getting on her was, well, interesting. She wore a long-sleeved onesie that wasn't snapped at the bottom, a floral patterned pink skirt, pink and brown argyle leg-warmers, black maryjanes, and her cream and brown down vest, which she refused to take off, no matter that she was sweaty. In fact, she hasn't taken if off yet, except when Q forced her into a shirt and sweater yesterday morning when she refused clothes again.


Sunday day was pretty good. We went to the pumpkin farm and Slane loved jumping, and picking out her pumpkin, and jumping, and the "puppies," which were what most of us would call goats. When we got home, as I was getting Slane ready for bed, Q somehow caused a gallon of cherry pomegranate juice to fall from the top of the refrigerator as he was opening the freezer. Juice everywhere. I mean everywhere, so much so that it was dripping in the basement below the kitchen. And even though it was cleaned up and mopped, the kitchen is still a bit sticky.

So, Monday arrived and Q was about 45 minutes late for work because a certain little girl would not let him get clothes on her. Monday was a bit of an overcommited day for us. We signed up to bring a family with a new baby a meal, and we had a meeting out of town at 7. Slane refused to get out of the car when we got home, Q forgot his car keys so he had to walk home, and he had a phone call at work that caused him to leave late anyway (but then, he was late getting there, so he rightly stayed late). Once I finally convinced Slane to come in the house she was upset about something, and then we went upstairs and she took her shoes off and was upset that she couldn't get them back on. I was attempting to cook a dinner for someone else, and the meat was burning, and Slane was upstairs crying, and then the fire alarm went off, causing Slane to continue crying, but need me to pick her up. I went back to cooking a burnt dinner and being frustrated that every step I took was sticky, and the alarm went off again. Later today we will need to find the rest of the parts of the alarm, because I don't know what I did with them. I ended up cooking new meat, Q finally made it home, we delivered the meal, and left for our meeting about the time it started, but when we got there we hadn't missed much.

Notice the part where we still didn't get dinner. We hit the Taco John's drive thru around 10:30, after a stop at the store for a few provisions for the week.

This morning, dressing Slane must have gone better. I hope so, because I got to help with socks, and that didn't go well. I'm not sure what is up with Slane, but we need to find a way to work through that.

Slane gets bangs

Slane swimming in a tub.

Pictures from the summer

Finally, here are five of my favorite summer pictures of Slane, in backwards order. There are more pictures on my phone, which always seems to be at hand more than the camera. Enjoy!

Slane playing tetherball at camp while a group of campers stand oblivious.

Slane "swimming" in Lake Erie.

Slane in the pond at Aunt Sharie's in Cleveland.

Slane and Ella with Epa at the cabin in Backbone State Park.

At least one of them is happy about it.

This is at a lock and dam near Dubuque. Slane is taking a break from the action.

Reactive

When the school year started we had a pretty good family rhythm going. We planned meals ahead of time, we planned activities ahead of time, and we talked through our schedules. We came home from work at a consistent time and kept mostly to a routine.

The last two weeks have been grueling for us. We have gone through a lot physically, emotionally, and mentally. Our routine has been tossed about and we are not ahead of the bowling ball anymore, we are stuck in the thumb hole and trying not to get smashed. We are reactive, no longer proactive.

I think last night it all came to a head. Q is ready for a break at work, and came home late. I don't start dinner until he gets home (lessons learned the hard way). I had no idea what we were having for dinner anyway. I never did get dinner. Q got home and we decided to go for a bike ride to get dinner (after playing outside with Slane for a long time). We should have been folding laundry, mowing the lawn, putting things away in the kitchen, etc. So we go biking but I don't know what I want, just that I need to eat now, and he doesn't want anything. We find ourselves at McNally's wandering the isle. Slane sees bananas and asks for one, so we get her a banana, which she eats most of and then squishes the rest all over the cart. We decide to buy a block of cheese. We pay and leave, but now it is dark and we can't bike because we don't have a headlight, so we have to walk. While we are figuring this out, Slane decides she wants to eat the cheese, so Q runs back inside and buys a cheesestick. We try to leave again, successfully this time, and we walk home, singing Slane's version of the ABC's (now I know my, now I know my, now I know my abc's). I eventually had a bowl of cereal that Slane insisted I share with her.

After this weekend, I think there is a chance we can get caught up again. Q's big work events will be over, my issues are almost over, and conferences time at school means I have 6.5 hours after school to get caught up there. Q and Slane are taking a vacation soon, and maybe they can chill for a while.

Home videos

"Most family home videos are boring.  You film your kid doing something, like tying his shoes for the first time.  It seems really exciting the first time, but years later you’ve seen your kid do that every day for years.  The better videos are of things that are boring now because you currently do them all the time. Someday you will no longer be doing them and the video will bring back memories." - Jeff Ely, Cheap Talk

I keep meaning to capture more of the mundane moments of our family - daily photos, audio, video. It's a dilemma - living fully in the moment or documenting the moment for posterity? Lately, by necessity and by inattention, we have taken fewer pictures and recorded less. I'm okay with this, except when I'm not. MamaCue and I feel like this commercial is a glimpse into our future:

Poopie

Slane is becoming obsessed with the potty. She tells us when she goes poopie (any action in that area is considered poopie), and gets her little toilet seat and insists on sitting there. Saturday she was there for a half hour, just hanging out. She insisted on using mass amounts of toilet paper, so now we tell her that she can only use it if she goes. She did go Saturday while sitting on her little seat, and got upset everytime I tried to take her off. It is super cute, but takes lots of patience, because she wants to sit there all the time.

I guess she is growing into a big girl.

"What does this animal say?" "Baa."

While Slane continues to say that all animals speak sheep, there are signs that her thoughts on the matter are changing. We have a baby animal peek-a-boo book. In that book, the kitten says "Meow" and the penguin chicks go "Peep peep." (What do penguin chicks say, anyway?) Her bear cub growl is both cute and ferocious. But when you ask what the bear says without the book in hand, the bear says "Baa."

All of this reminds me of a very funny song from Sesame Street, "The Question Song." A girl muppet sings to Grover a question. The answer is supposed to begin with the letter Q, but Grover gets stuck on a bovine theme:

Girl (sung):
Now here is a question,
A question for you.
Remember, the answer
Will start with a "Q".
Just think of a duck,
Be it white, brown, or black.
What sound does it make?
Why, a duckie goes...

Grover (spoken):
Mooooooooooo!

At our house, the duckie goes "Baa!"

PS: Sesame Street now has a Tumblr, with video clips!

Video: Slane the climber, the animal talker

Slane likes going for rides. Sometimes she'll just climb into the stroller like this:



She's working on her animal sounds. Usually every animal says "Baa." Not this time.

internet coming soon, and cute things Slane does

We are getting internet next week, and that means pictures! The wait is almost over.

And now, cute things Slane does.

She feeds her stuffed animals bananas and her babies "bottles." She answers questions with yes and no. Last night she pushed me away from her crib because she was ready for bed. Sunday, we were at a picnic, and another small child spilled his plate. Slane picked up a chip from the ground and force-fed it to him. I think she was trying to be helpful. She climbs into her stroller and asks for a ride when she wants to go for a walk. She insisted Grover sit in a booster seat next to her high chair while eating dinner the other night.

Still here

I'm sure you all thought we disappeared. It has been a crazy summer (general consensus all around, I think). We were traveling quite a bit, and now that we are home, we still don't have internet up and running. So my internet access is limited to trips to the library, which only happens on a daycare day. Here is a quick recap of our summer, with real posts and many pics to follow (when we get internet going).

School got out and the college's reunion happened. I enjoyed a week off, then we went on the family vacation to Backbone State Park. The park is beautiful and we explored Dubuque, Strawberry Point, Spook Cave, Effigy Mounds (Mr. Sharar, my junior high science teacher, would be so proud), and Elkader. We planned to hike much more in the park, but it rained every day and the park flooded, so that didn't happen. Next time. We squeezed 6 adults and 2 babies in a small cabin, and that in itself was an adventure.

We got home on a Wednesday, and then I worked at the speedway on Saturday. Sunday we headed to Cleveland for my class at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. The class was amazing and I am going to use everything I learned in one way or another. My students won't know what hit them. We stayed with Q's aunt, and had a great time.

We got home on Sunday, and spent the next three days moving across town to a better neighborhood (and a house!!!). I was home for three days and then Slane and I headed to camp. My cousin, Rachel, came from Michigan to help (thanks Rachel, couldn't have done it without you!). Now I have been home for a while, but of course, there is still unpacking to do, and now we have a lawn to keep mowed, and I have crazy research and planning to do for school. Also, last week my mom was in the hospital in Des Moines, so there were many trips to the city.

That is summer so far. I have to get back to researching so that I can get home and mow the lawn, and other house things.

Oh, and Slane is growing taller, she is talking even more, she refuses to use her high chair any more, and can drink out of a glass like a big girl. She is a big girl!

Mother Goose reading time

I waited 9 months to take Slane to the library for Mother Goose story time. What a let-down. I mean, I see where they are going with it, and why they did the things they did, but I was disappointed.

Now, I also realize that reading or doing anything with 15 toddlers and their mothers can be difficult, but don't try to do something you shouldn't be doing. So, we went into the room. The library is only a few months old, so it is a pretty sweet space, really. There is this paper snowflake type thing on the ceiling, and these great climbable steps in one corner. In fact, that is what Slane spent most of the time exploring. We sat on a colored square (well, I did, Slane was already climbing, then eventually she stole another kids colored square).

Story time started with introductions. I knew a couple of the other moms and their kids, which was nice. They we sang a couple of songs, and then the lady read a story. Then we did a rhyme, sang another song, and heard another story. Then we got to play with instruments while singing another song. Story time was then over, and we got some graham bunnies and little cups of water. The theme was oceans, so everything was about water. Nice, but here is the part where the music teacher in me almost went ballistic...how could they ever expect little ones to sing in keys so low even the alto in me had to stretch and it hurt?

I realize the lady was not a music teacher, but a librarian who is attempting to expose little ones to books and literacy and what-not, but if they were going to do that type of thing, wouldn't they consult a music teacher who is trained to teach and sing those songs?

I, of course, tried to give them the benefit. Maybe the regular person who is better at this is gone, or maybe I'm just too new to the whole taking my child to story time thing that I don't know how it works. Or maybe my training in literacy and music was bogus. Don't know.

I do know that we will probably go to story time again, and I will set low expectations. Slane just went for the climbing anyway. :)

Mealtime is funtime

Just read a nice article from The New York Times about eating out with children. Writer Susan Dominus talks with New York restaurateur Nicola Marzovilla who has this to say about children and dining:

Children’s menus aim too low, he argues — they’re a parenting crutch.

“The table is very important,” Mr. Marzovilla explained as we sat around one at his restaurant early Sunday evening with our five collective children. “It’s about nutrition, it’s about family; you go right down the line. And the children’s menu is about the opposite — it’s about making it quick, making it easy, and moving on.”

We've tried to expose Slane to a variety of foods, especially fruits and vegetables. She's liking big people food and now ignores food that's been cut up. It's as if she is saying, "I'm a big girl now. I don't need your gastronomical patronizing. Cut up your own food, daddy." She is a slow warmer to new foods, but like Sam-I-Am, she tries it and likes it.

Fellow parents, how do you manage to introduce new foods to your kids?

Image from Suessville

clean and climbing

I think Slane is slowly getting over her fear of the bath. For quite some time bathtime has been something we all dread. Slane would cry as soon as we took her into the bathroom, and then scream and try to climb out of the tub. Toys didn't help, me attemting to take a bath with her didn't help. Then we tried a shower. We took a shower, sang a silly song about the shower, danced, and played with foam letters that stuck to the side of the shower. Twice now, that has worked. So, we can now have a clean baby without the tears. I hope that trips to the pool and possibly a sprinkler this summer will help even more.

Slane is a climber. Last week she pushed her stroller over to the piano, climbed up on it, climbed up on the piano bench, climbed up on the piano itself, and got a crayon from the top. Then I helped her climb down again. She is good as pushing that stroller over to things so she can climb. I've even heard that she did it in the church nursery a couple of weeks ago...

Slane also likes to go out our front door, down the steps (she is stepping down the steps now, not climbing down), and take the sidewalk to our nearest neighbor (which happens to be a big party house). We do this almost nightly, so I wasn't totally surprised when she insisted on doing it during block party. I didn't necessarily appreciate drunk students proclaiming over a baby at block party, or accusing me of bringing my baby back for block party, but Slane loved watching all of the kids and gave out a lot of high fives.

How do you do it?

I have been struggling lately. I want to know how some moms work full time, have clean houses, make dinners, do laundry, eat well, exercise, and still have time to play with the kids and have some personal time. I feel like I have to do it all, and most of the time I am too exhausted to do that. I know Dan helps, probably more than most dads, but it still seems like I have to do it, and if I don't then I have let the team down. And somewhere in there I would really like the baby belly to go away and my clothes to fit better. I keep thinking if I can just hang on until summer then I will be at parks all day and playing and biking around town...but how do I get that exercise in the winter? When? And still keep up on laundry without forgetting I washed a load two days ago and never got it into the dryer, or have dinner prepared in a timely manner for those of us who need to eat, eat, eat right now.

I want to spend more time with Slane but when I am spending time with her I feel like I should be doing dishes or unloading the dishwasher or cleaning out the fridge or something more useful, when I know the best thing I could be doing is chasing a toddler down the sidewalk or playing ball with her.

I never had intentions of working full time when I had a baby, but it seems like I didn't have a choice, and I couldn't pass up a full time job, even if it is not necessarily the grade level I would rather be teaching.

I feel guilty if I have to stay at work late, and even more guilty if I have a meeting and leave Slane with Q (though I don't think he feels the same guilt). Taking time for myself doesn't seem like an option, and Q often tells me my Sunday nap (which never really catches me up) is my time to myself.

It just seems like by the time I get home, pick up Slane, attempt to start dinner, wait until Q gets home so I can really start dinner, feed everyone, do the dishes, pick up a bit, and maybe, just maybe get a walk in, I'm done. Nothing left. Even if Q helps with some of that (which he often does), there is nothing left.

So, I was just wondering, how do you do it?

bubbles

The last few weeks a lot of opportunities have come our way. We have learned the hard way to take a good look at what we want for now, what we want for later, and what our goals are. But so many of these opportunities seem like bubbles. They are floating, they are pretty, but who knows where they will land and if they will pop in the process. Some of them are very big bubbles, and those are the most exciting, and some are small, and don't last very long. Some might break deals we had made with each other, some may become new deals. And the hardest part, most are not developed enough to even share with others who could offer discernment and advice. They are just bubbles that we get to watch...We are in a good place either way with most of them, but some could offer some significant changes for us. The timing is incredible, it seems that every bubble has started floating in the last couple of weeks, and it is fun too, to see where they all might land if they do land. And if they don't, we are mostly good with that too.

One of those bubbles that has developed and should not pop is the new car we are going to pick up tomorrow. We have known for some time that a tiny 3-door Saturn Coupe and a small not-so-great-in-Winter Toyota Tacoma would not fit us as a family. The fact is, when we bought those cars, 10 and 8 years ago respectively, they served just the purpose we needed then. Who thinks about buying a family car right out of college? Now that our family has grown (and hopefully will continue to grow), we need something that we fit in, and maybe a fourth person as well. So, we gave in, found an interest rate that is great, got a loan, set up a trade-in of the Toyota, and will drive home our Subaru Forester tomorrow. It is blue!

In other news, we are struggling with the sippy cup situation. We know we need to transition Slane to a sippy cup. We already have her on milk, and completely off of formula, but we need to get her off of the bottle. She is strange. She will drink water out of her Avent sippy, but not milk. Some people suggested different kinds of cups. I tried Nuk the other day. It worked great, I bought a second one (those are pricey). Then Slane started throwing things when she is done with them. When a Nuk sippy hits the floor with force, the nipple pops out and milk goes everywhere. We can deal with that at home on a linoleum floor, but when we are out to eat, it is kind of a problem. I bought a Playtex yesterday, and she would't drink out of it. I don't want to buy many different kinds that won't work. What do we do? It is harder because she still does the bottle at daycare. I guess we will have to wait until summer to fight that battle, and then I can be home all day and deal with that.

In other other news, Slane is walking everywhere now, and it is kind of nice to walk in the door at daycare and she walks up and says hello. Speaking of daycare, I love the boys there. They love Slane and Monday actually opened the window of the room they were in and yelled their goodbye's to her out of the window. When she goes in the morning, she gets a big hug from one of the boys who says he loves her. When I pick her up, one boy always says, "Baby mom here, baby mom here!"

Stay tuned, and when the next bubble lands, we'll let you know.

Slane Walk

Slane...she's a-walkin' now.

More pictures:

Slane eating hailstones and black beans for dinner the night of the big storm.

Slane's Easter dress.

Slane and mommy.

Double babies. Slane on the right, Einar on the left.

Slane turns 1!!!

Stop talking already, just show us pictures

We are a bit behind. So, here are pictures starting in January. The next post will have a few more.

Ella, our niece was baptized on Valentine's Day. My mom made this dress.

Slane drives her car through the kitchen.

Q and I traded rooms with Slane. Ema and Epa helped (Epa got nap duty).

Slane is happy about eating.

Slane plays with balloons at the Hope/Calvin game, which Hope won!!

Bye, G'Bye!!!

No, we aren't going anywhere just yet.

Slane and I got to spend a lot of time together during my 5 day weekend "spring break." We explored new places, and we got lots of appointments taken care of. On Thursday, Q took a vacation day and we ran a few errands (like dropping off the $150 our friends and family donated to Mid-Iowa Community Action in Slane's name), picked up coffee, and deposited a few checks and some of Slane's birthday money. Then we headed to Des Moines for lunch with Aunt Brenda and a visit to the Science Center. We played in the toddler area, and watched a cool black hole presentation. We checked out the turtles and snakes and prairie soil samples, and then headed to a mall to pick up some walking shoes for Slane (Pedipeds are our new favorite shoes). We rushed back home and made it to the Maundy Thursday Service, which Slane decided to talk through. Q eventually took her out to the fellowship hall so she didn't disrupt the service.

Friday, we did taxes and got a haircut. Saturday we cleaned out closets. Sunday the whole family came over for Easter and the ladies went to the park to swing and slide and the guys got in a round of disc golf.

Monday, Slane hung out in her stroller while I got a cavity filled, and then she napped and I graded my sixth graders projects that have been waiting for a few weeks. We met Q at the doctor's office for Slane's 1 year wellness check later in the afternoon. She weighed in at 23 pounds and a few ounces, and 30 inches tall. She got a clean bill of health, though we need to feed her more protein and iron.

It was cold and rainy in the afternoon, and we needed an activity. Slane wanted to play upstairs, so I put a movie in and played with her. We watched The Sound of Music. Slane loved the singing (of course), and at end, when the Von Trapp family singers are singing So Long, Farewell for the last time, Slane got the message, and said, "bye, g'bye!?!?!" It always sounds like a question when she says it, but an excited question.

And then, that quickly, my weekend was over and I got to go back to school.

a year

Last week Slane turned one. Every day, I can't help but find myself thinking, "a year ago, this was happening. Remember coming home from the hospital, and the stress that was Slane's first two months?" Slane was not gaining weight, and that was very scary. It seemed like we were not as worried as the doctors, and I was constantly questioning my ability to take care of my kid. I couldn't feed her enough, and it became more stressful because we could not afford formula or a breast pump, and I NEEDED to be able to breast feed her because it seemed like the only choice. We depended on piano lesson money, because that was our grocery money.

We couldn't afford a different place to live (still not sure what to do there, another subject for a different day), finding a car to fit us was not an option (though we aren't all about taking on car payments), and I did not get a maternity break (sometimes I feel like I missed out on valuable bonding time). We weren't sure what was next. Then, I got a full-time job (totally unexpected), and Slane gained weight and is very happy and healthy, and we are make the car situation work (though I was rethinking that last night when I was trying to get the jogging stroller in the trunk). We are looking for a rental house, but those are hard to come by in Grinnell. We are hopeful about that working out for us.

Things still feel up in the air, in spite of being in a better place financially. We are feeling restless, and are just waiting for the next step to show itself. It seems like we should be doing more with ourselves, and though we love being where we are, and most of our current situation, we are as wiggly as Slane is during church. So, now most of our decisions have been put on hold because we just don't know what to do with ourselves next.

In the meantime, we have a beautiful, robust, happy, smart little girl. She is almost walking, she has been working on her top teeth for a couple of weeks, and she is growing out of most of her winter clothes. She draws attention wherever she goes, and loves to play. She is a joy to be around.

A year ago we were getting to know our tiny baby, and living in our pajamas. Now, we are getting to know our almost toddler, and not living in our pajamas (we wear actual clothes to work, our coworkers would find the pajamas a bit strange).

eating with the angels

This morning I saw a beautiful sunrise. Yesterday, I saw an even better one. The sun was shining through the fog, and it was pink and floaty and then got more and more orange as I traveled. The benefit of a morning commute at sunrise is the peacefulness that it offers over the terrain. It certainly has calmed my spirits lately. Our week had a rough start, and the nice spring weather has definitely helped soften the situation.

Often, if I don't get a chance to enjoy breakfast at home, or forget to get the coffee pot ready, I stop in at the local coffee shop. They know me well enough not that they usually have my coffee poured by the time I get up to the counter. And if my favorite scone is not out yet, they go to the back room and get me one (thanks, Pat, you're the best!). I often see the same people there in the mornings. I see the music and history professors mulling over whatever it is that they mull over. On Thursdays, I see the Bible study group going at it, and frequently see the Arabic professor at the college.

Now, she LOVES Slane. Whenever we see her at campus events she gravitates toward Slane and insists on holding her and exclaims over how big Slane is and how grown up she is getting. So, this morning she asked why Slane wasn't with me. She is sleeping, I said, and having good dreams. She was smiling in her sleep when I left. "She is eating with the angels. That is what they say at home. They believe babies are angels themselves and she is enjoying herself."

It kinds of matches the sunrise this morning.

Irish wonder

This morning I dressed Slane in cute yellow corduroy overalls and a white long sleeve onesie. Then I remembered what day it is, and quickly changed the onesie to an Irish one Q's very proud of being Irish aunt sent. It says "wee one" on the front and has a shamrock on the butt.

A year ago I was 40 weeks pregnant, it was Spring Break, I was cat-sitting for the students next door, and I watched my due date come and go. I was restless and bored. I didn't want to start anything, because I didn't know if I would finish it or not. The one green maternity shirt I had was not big enough for my ginormous belly.

Today I am teaching across from a kindergarten classroom. There are "leprechaun" footprints leading into the classroom, and "gold" on the students tables (it is chocolate). I was not thinking ahead enough to bring in some Irish music, and I don't have an Irish lesson plan, but it would have been easier if I had one planned. Now I am listening to kids shouting, "the leprechaun came!!, Look the leprechaun was here!"

My leprechaun came 6 days later, and she is my Irish wonder. Someday she will love or hate this day, because it will annoy her that she has an Irish name, or she will be very proud of that. I went from being the size of a pot of gold to having a pot of gold.

"big sisters"

Last Sunday the International Student Office hosted a pot-luck for International students and their host families. Our ladies, Joyce and Aanchal, came over early to help make our food. We made two loaves of whole wheat bread (didn't turn out great), and they were blown away by the amount of flour added to make bread. We also used up some leftover Thanksgiving turkey that Q discovered in the freezer and made a casserole with rice, alphabet noodles, cheesy white sauce, and peas. They were so proud of their contribution, and helped carry it to campus, and set it up in the buffet line.

They both had so much fun playing with Slane, carrying her, holding her, and feeding her. They played with her hair and took her to show off to their friends. Joyce got Slane an early birthday gift, and had fun helping open it.

When the pot-luck was over our girls helped gather all of our stuff and get it ready to go.

How special for Slane to be exposed now, even if just a little bit, to the cultures of our International students. Maybe someday she can go visit them in India or Korea and they can share their babies with her. And hopefully in the Fall Slane can spend time with her "big brother," and learn more about Pakistan.

Second tooth

Slane's mouth is the dental negative of this child:

 

Congrats to Slane on sprouting a second tooth!

Image courtesy of Milnefamily

Valentine's baptism

Slane turns 11 months old today! I have loved getting to know her and watching her become a person. She is a great kid!

Last Sunday, our niece Ella was baptized. It was my idea to have her baptized on Valentine's Day (not cocky about that at all). What a great day to show her she is loved so much and welcomed by a larger family. While we were there I was thinking about Slane's baptism.

I love the part about baptism that asks the church to support and take care of the child too. I think our church has certainly taken that to heart. They are always quick to jump in and hold her during choir, or play with her in the nursery, or watch her for a morning or afternoon when we are in a bind. They love her and love taking care of her. They admire her and ask what new thing she is doing or saying. They chuckle when she gets chatty during the silent prayer, and they pick up her toys and return them. They let her play with their moustaches, and love to hold her on their laps. They are patient when Slane is climbing the steps onto the stage or trying to eat the prayer cards.

A couple of Sundays ago one of the grandmas in our church took her for the end of choir rehearsal. Slane proceeded to fall asleep on Grandma Janet, and slept there the entire church service. It was so sweet to watch our little girl cuddle on someone else, and so nice for us to really enjoy a whole service together.

pyschological study

All of the babies born at our hospital are invited to participate in a study that a professor in the psychology department at the college is conducting. They track eye movements to study infants scanning and memory of human faces. So, Q had finally called to get our appointment set up, and it was yesterday.

Fortunately, yesterday we got out of school early due to snow, so I was home with Slane when he called with 10 minutes notice that she needed to be on campus for her study. She had not napped yet, and was in the middle of eating dried fruit and cheerios. Rather than drive the whole block that it was to get there, I loaded Slane up in the jogging stroller and bundled us up and headed out to campus.

So, first, imagine trying to get through snow drifts with a stroller. Then imagine the looks you get as you try to cross the street, and then go on campus. We got several second looks. I'm sure people thought I was crazy. Maybe I am.

The study was interesting. I had to hold Slane and wear dark glasses so she couldn't reference my eyes or face. She got to look at faces. We both got to listen to annoying music, like Teletubbies and Elmo. She wore a headband with some connection to a camera that taped the whole thing. She did really well, and was quiet and made it through the entire 15 minute study.

We got presents for our participation. Slane got a certificate and she got to choose a toy (3 of the 4 we already had, now we know where they came from), so we got a new sippy cup. I got a Wal-Mart gift card for my effort.

So, at that point, an hour had passed and there was a lot more snow. In my 10 minutes of preparation to head out into the snow, I had remembered that I had CDs and scores that were about a month overdue, so I grabbed those, which meant a stop in the library.

So, imagine those looks from passersby, and then imagine that in a college library with a baby. Up to this point I had only taken her to Burling during the summer.

Errands finished, we made the final drive for home. The wind had picked up, and it was cold. Slane was understandably fussy as I chose to avoid the sidewalk and take to the middle of the street. I got to our door after some clever maneuvering of the stroller up the steps, and got us inside, and cheered.Then I started to get Slane out of the stroller and noticed that she was asleep.

Our daughter fell asleep in the middle of a snowstorm in her stroller. And slept until 11, took a bottle, and slept until morning.

I can eat yogurt all by myself!

Feeding fail.

Twizzlers

...the ladies dig 'em.

Feeling ditchy

I'm watching Iowa's latest snowstorm from our truck in a ditch. The unexpected free time gives me an opportunity to write about Slane's latest exploits.

Rotavirus: it's a terrible bug and really affected Slane for over a week. Our happy child had suddenly become sleepy and lethargic, wailing from the pain and needing to be held all the time. Sunday she reverted to her happy, healthy self.

Happy and healthy now includes lots of crawling, standing, and exploration. The stairs are a magnet and she has a proud but devious smile each time we pull her off the stairs. She can stand and sit with ease, though she still needs something (wall, chair, leg, etc.) to steady her.

Happy and healthy also means thinking defying sleep. We've had to be firm with a bedtime routine (bottle, book, rocking). To this routine she adds crying, whimpers, and quiet sleep. We caved to her Monday but outlasted her protests the rest of the week. Tuesday they lasted what felt like an hour, other days they lasted no more than 10 minutes.

Here's my translation of her cries from the crib: "This is an injustice! Why are you leaving me! I won't stand for this! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? ... I am still upset! I am going to continue to protest these unjust conditions by laying down and closing my eyes while still crying. Just wait until you come back, you'll be zzzzzzzzzzzz"

Minnesota: The people of the State of hockey (Minnesota) welcomed us this weekend. We visited with friends from college (N. and family and M.) and Grinnell (S., V., and C. and K.). A generous friend (K.) gave us tickets to the Wild-Blue Jackets game at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul. It was a good time, except for the part where the Wild won. Slane wore her homemade Jackets sweater which got compliments from fans of both teams. We also made a trek to the blue and gold temple that is Ikea. We made our offering and left with some items for Slane (toy bins, a lamp, and other baby-friendly items).

More pictures and stories soon.

Sick

Slane is finally on the backside of Rotavirus. She started with diarhea last Friday and was screaming on and off, but we thought it was teeth. On Sunday, Slane and I were taking a nap, and when we woke up I heard the diaper before I realized that it had exploded all over the sheets on the bed. Then on Monday, Miss Denise called and she had a fever. Q was on a business trip from Saturday to Wednesday, so I tried to leave school early so I could take her to the doctor (nobody would cover my last class for me though), and finally got her there a little before closing. He said she had this virus, and she would be a sick for a couple more days and wasn't good to go to daycare. It was a rough few days for me. My mom watched her Tuesday, I took Wednesday, and Q took Thursday. Tuesday night we were up at 2am and she threw up on the clean sheets I had just put on. She is back at daycare today (no fever for 24 hours, and no diarhea). I guess the biggest fear with rotavirus is dehydration, but she kept taking bottles (not as much as usual, though) and was drinking from her sippy cup. It turns out she does NOT like Pedialyte. She would push it away every time I offered it to her. The worst was when it hurt her little intestines so much that she would just scream. She was so cuddly, but everyone could tell she just wasn't feeling like herself.

I was extremely happy to see Q pull up on Wednesday. And, one of my students stopped me in the hall today to ask how Slane was doing. I said she was feeling better, and the student said, "good, then you won't be so crabby the next time I have music."

So, needless to say, we are way behind on blogging and life and projects. We will post Christmas when we finally take Christmas down from our house.

Oh, one more thing... a big welcome to baby Einar, who was born on the 5th. I'm glad we didn't come to visit on Sunday, but we will come meet him soon!