a year

Last week Slane turned one. Every day, I can't help but find myself thinking, "a year ago, this was happening. Remember coming home from the hospital, and the stress that was Slane's first two months?" Slane was not gaining weight, and that was very scary. It seemed like we were not as worried as the doctors, and I was constantly questioning my ability to take care of my kid. I couldn't feed her enough, and it became more stressful because we could not afford formula or a breast pump, and I NEEDED to be able to breast feed her because it seemed like the only choice. We depended on piano lesson money, because that was our grocery money.

We couldn't afford a different place to live (still not sure what to do there, another subject for a different day), finding a car to fit us was not an option (though we aren't all about taking on car payments), and I did not get a maternity break (sometimes I feel like I missed out on valuable bonding time). We weren't sure what was next. Then, I got a full-time job (totally unexpected), and Slane gained weight and is very happy and healthy, and we are make the car situation work (though I was rethinking that last night when I was trying to get the jogging stroller in the trunk). We are looking for a rental house, but those are hard to come by in Grinnell. We are hopeful about that working out for us.

Things still feel up in the air, in spite of being in a better place financially. We are feeling restless, and are just waiting for the next step to show itself. It seems like we should be doing more with ourselves, and though we love being where we are, and most of our current situation, we are as wiggly as Slane is during church. So, now most of our decisions have been put on hold because we just don't know what to do with ourselves next.

In the meantime, we have a beautiful, robust, happy, smart little girl. She is almost walking, she has been working on her top teeth for a couple of weeks, and she is growing out of most of her winter clothes. She draws attention wherever she goes, and loves to play. She is a joy to be around.

A year ago we were getting to know our tiny baby, and living in our pajamas. Now, we are getting to know our almost toddler, and not living in our pajamas (we wear actual clothes to work, our coworkers would find the pajamas a bit strange).