At some point when I was in the ICU back in October I realized that "my lips hurt real bad." My sister happened to be there and handed over the chapstick she had in her pocket. Orange Cream Burst. Deciding that chapstick necessity won out over flavor choice, I accepted. And used it the entire time I was in the hospital, every time slightly rolling my eyes at the orangeness of the chapstick. When I got home from the hospital, I lost the orange cream burst chapstick and opted for the unflavored chapstick waiting for me on my dresser.
Fast forward 10 weeks. Hanna had an appointment Monday morning at 8:30. Dan decided to go into work early, leaving me with all three kids to get ready, and 45 minutes to do it. I skipped breakfast and left Graeme half fed in his jammies. then dropped him and Slane at daycare (for no more than 2 hours, I had said). Hanna' appointment went well, and while there I called our clinic twice trying to get Graeme in, and got the recorded message both times. I decided to drive over and see if they were actually closed, and they were open, just were booked full for the day and Dr. P wanted to leave by lunch. When I explained that Graeme was not breathing well and hacking, they said to go get him and bring him in.
So I went to daycare and switched kids, thinking it would go quickly. Dr. P didn't like the sounds of things, so he sent us to the hospital for a chest xray. Then we went back and he decided to send us back to the hospital for admittance. I texted daycare, asking if she could now keep the girls for the rest of the day. She said yes. I called Dan, and he said he would drop by after work.
My hospital experience left Dan much more traumatized than me. I wasn't awake for most of it. My mom used to drag me to the hospital with her all the time, so sickness and the medical process doesn't scare me or make me nervous. But I didn't go through what Dan did. I understood his reluctance to visit and didn't push it--then.
The rest of Monday and Tuesday Graeme seemed a little better but not great. Dan stayed with him Monday night and I stayed Tuesday. When Dan and the girls left, Slane almost cried when I said goodbye. She remembers when I didn't come home in October. Graeme was really fussy and coughing quite a bit Tuesday night and finally around 11:30 our nurse talked me into letting her take him to the nurses station so I could rest. So I got comfy, changed into pajama pants, read a bit, then tried to sleep. I had maybe been out for 15 minutes when she came running in with Graeme, her supervisor right behind, and they pressed the Code Blue running. I sat up and watched several people come running into the room as they got him going on oxygen and the nebulizer. He had been sleeping, woke up crying, and then the cries almost stopped. I tried to stay out of the way and get my stuff out of the way. There was some debate then about calling Blank, and Dr. P was called in. By then it was 1 a.m. and he ordered another chest xray and bloodwork. Also in that time Graeme almost stopped breathing again. Dr. P came in and made the decision to call Blank. Our nurse later said that our hospital could take care of babies, but with a mostly geriatric crowd, would feel more comfortable sending Graeme to people who only dealt with babies and could give him more concentrated care.
I tried and tried to call Dan, in between packing up, changing to jeans, taking things out to the car and moving the car to the ER parking lot. The chapstick I had been carrying was close to empty, and when I found some of Slane's cherry chapstick in the car I grabbed it. Finally I remembered that Dave and Julie were still in town and called Dave, asking him to please wake Dan up. Dave came to the hospital first, and was surprised that Dan wasn't there, then he went to our house. When Dan finally was awake and called me, he was hesitant to do anything. He was going to get the girls to daycare and go into work. When I told the nurses that, they said, "he'll call back in an hour and change his mind." I thought that too, but understood his hesitation. A little Post Traumatic Stress, anyone? He did call back about 20 minutes later and said he would take the girls to daycare and then head to Des Moines. A while late he called again, asking when the ambulance would be there, because he was going to follow us to Des Moines, while Dave and Julie stayed with the girls.
The transport team came, got an IV started, and wheeled Graeme to the emergency doors so they could get him on the ambulance. When we walked out to it, I was surprised to see that it was no ordinary ambulance. It was a badass ambulance that nobody on the roads would want to mess with. I climbed in, directed the driver back to West Street, and we were off. He drove 85 most of the way and we listened to WHO radio. It reminded me of riding in the truck with my dad, watching all of the tiny cars around us. I was secretly hoping he would turn on the siren and the flashy lights, but he didn't.
It was crazy at first when we got here. The team was filling the nurses and residents in on what they did during transport, Dan came in, we were trying to answer all kinds of questions, and they were getting Graeme settled as well.
By yesterday afternoon, I was beyond exhausted. It had been 30 hours and I had gotten that almost sleep, but that was it. Our pastor drove up to visit, and I went back to town with her, picked up the girls and heated up one of our frozen casseroles while Dan stayed with Graeme for the night. My mom had come and almost finished the laundry, vacuumed, and was working on dishes. She is a good mom. After dinner, Slane noticed me using her cherry chapstick and demanded that I give it back, so I did. Then Slane went to a basketball game with Kirsten and Lydia, Hanna went to bed, and I worked to put away the laundry that had been piling up for two weeks. As I was moving baskets around, I found the orange cream burst chapstick.
And here I am, back at the hospital, after restful sleep, using orange cream burst chapstick.
Graeme is about the same. His nurse from yesterday was just in and said he looks much better. He was struggling so much that it exhausted him. Now, he is getting rest, and that is the most important thing.
Slane especially misses him, and I spent a lot of time explaining that he is sick but is going to get better and will come home soon. I wish she could come see him, but we were encouraged to keep children away as so many kids on this floor have the same respiratory issues and we don't want to spread it. We will all be together soon, and maybe I'll get new chapstick soon too.