How to explain roadkill to a three year old

Alligator Snapping Turtle (photo by Caldeira & Co)


Part of our post-church Sunday routine is a leisurely drive to Rock Creek State Park. The drive is usually serene and gets everyone (except the driver) to napland. As we crossed the bridge over the northern inlet, we came upon what we thought was a piece of driftwood. As we got, closer, I realized it was a large turtle on its back.

I stopped the van to move the turtle off of the road. As I looked for a stick in a ditch to move the turtle, the turtle moved. "Uh-oh," I thought. We called the park ranger. I hadn't tried to move it, but had positioned the van so that the turtle would not get hit a second time.

As we waited for the ranger to arrive, Slane worried about the turtle. "Will it be okay?" she asked.

Will it be okay? "No," I thought. Turtle shells are no match for truck tires. Blood was coming from its mouth. The best we could do is give it comfort in its last moments on earth.

Instead, I turned it into an object lesson about why we need to be careful crossing the street, which scared her a little.

"Will the turtle make it?" Slane asked.

"I don't think so," I answered.

The ranger arrived. He scooped the turtle, an alligator snapping turtle about the size of a medium-sized watermelon, into a box. There was a puddle of blood on the pavement. The turtle had a large crack in his shell near his right shoulder.

"He's not going to make it, is he?" I asked.

"No," the ranger answered.

"Thanks for coming to rescue him anyway," I said.

We got home and took our Sunday afternoon naps. When Slane woke up, she was unsettled.

"Are you sad about the turtle?" I asked.

"Yeah," Slane said with a sniffle and and a quiver in her voice.

An object lesson would not work this time. Instead I called on a higher power: Fancy Nancy.

"Slane, Fancy Nancy's mom talks about how big and generous Nancy's heart is, right?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"Mommy and I love how you show empathy and compassion for the people and animals in your life. You are the most compassionate, empathetic person I know. Empathy is a fancy word for caring for others.

"It's like Jonah. He needed to show compassion and mercy. Maybe Jonah could learn something from you."

Slane smiled. 

My monster cookie has Christmas colored M and M's

I just noticed the colors. Until Q's last post about ice, it had been a while. I guess we've been adjusting. Q left his job and started a new business right before Hanna was born. My uncle died. Hanna was born. I went back to work. Hanna started half time daycare. We struggle just to keep on top of the dishes and laundry, let alone picking up the clutter we sometimes just walk over, or blogging. Extras, though ideal, just don't win over finding clean spoons in the drawer or rinsing a onesie that has just been poopsploded on or feeding Hanna. So, we are behind. It took me two months to get around to making the muffins I had been craving for a couple of weeks before Hanna came. I've been wanting to iron my blue corduroy shirt for almost that long. Right now I manage to wrap about one gift a night.

Christmas is upon us. I hadn't been feeling my usual anticipation yet, until maybe yesterday. The kids at school are in hyper mode, and that helps. I haven't really been shopping (did 98% of it online), and we're not traveling this year (first time in 14 years for me). We only baked one batch of cookies (though I'm planning an eggnog cheesecake for Christmas day). We're adjusting. We get to start our own tradition this year (no idea what it will be). And there is my anticipation feeling. Unknown territory. But for now I will just eat my monster cookie. And attempt to keep on. And love on my girls. And maybe even pick up a second coffee on my way home from school.

Building a backyard rink (when you have two children)

We built a backyard rink again this year. Sort of. As I type, a December thaw (?) has rendered most of our ice slushy. More worrisome, the rain that the thaw brought has lowered the level of water in the rink, not raised it. I hope we don't have a leak in the liner.

We have had a few friends ask how to build one themselves. Here's what we did. Note: there are many great resources for building rinks, so don't take our method as gospel. Experiment, improvise, and find a way that works for you. Any time spent building a rink is better than time spent grousing about the cold of winter.

Steps to building your own backyard rink:

• Find a flat, level footprint for your rink. This could be your yard, this could be a basketball court. Flat does not equal level, and vice versa. If you're feeling fancy, you might use some string and a level to get the stakes at the right height, but this year we just laid the boards flat on the ground. Our 32'x30' rink is flatish and (sort of) level, with unexpected and unexplained rises and depressions. The SW corner of the rink fills first, taking 3-4" water (higher than my boot) before the NE corner floods. 
• Buy materials (prices)

• Plywood - for holding the water for your rink. we used untreated 1/2", 4'x8', cut lengthwise into thirds (8' x 1 1/3'). Five sheets will give you enough. Our rink was 24'x32' last year and 30'x32' this year. You could use 2"x8" boards for this, we just went with a taller board to be safe. (5 boards, $15/board = $75)

• Rebar - as stakes to support the boards and the water. We used 1/2" diameter, cut in 2' lengths, 2 per board. (28 stakes, ~$2/stake = $56)

• Zip ties - to bind the boards to the rebar. We use 4 per board (2 per stake). 

• Plastic sheeting - to hold the water, like a bathtub or crockpot liner. We use 6 mil thick, clear sheeting. We bought a 40'x100' roll last year which gave us enough for this year. ($200 for two years)

• Hose - to fill your rink. Get a hose long enough to reach the back of the rink and durable enough to handle the cold. We have a 100', 500psi-rated hose that has survived single-digit temps so far without cracking. ($65)

• Sprinkler - to distribute the water evenly. An oscillating lawn sprinkler will suffice. ($10)

•  Staple gun and staples - to attach the liner to the boards. ($25)

• Drill your holes for the zip ties. Eight holes per board, in pairs, two pairs about 12-18" from each end. One set 3" from the edge, the other in the middle. The two holes should be 1-2" apart. If you have clamps and a sawhorse, you can drill multiple holes at once. Make sure the holes are large enough (1/4" for us) to thread the zip ties.  
• Start building the rink. 
• Pound stakes to a depth of 1', half the stake. If the ground is frozen, use a hammer or sledge. We laid the stakes while the ground was soft, so they went in by hand.
• Bind the boards to the stakes, leaving the zip tie tails on the outside of the rink.
• Line the rink and be sure to avoid snagging or tearing the plastic. Leave enough to drape excess over the sides.
• Start filling. We prefer to use a sprinkler to even the distribution. Getting droplets air cooled also helps to freeze faster and may help to avoid air pockets.
• How deep? Backyard-hockey.com has a great rink calculator. Ours takes about 3,000 gallons of water to fill to an even depth of 2".
• Stay off the ice until the ice is at least 2" thick. You do not want to gouge your liner with a skate blade.
• To keep the boards from herniating the liner, put some fabric scraps (old socks, t-shirts, etc.) between the ends of each board.

That's what we do. Slane and I were on the frozen half of the rink last week in boots. If we can sustain a cold spell this week, maybe I'll be able to lace up the skates and enjoy the first skate of the season!

Pete and RePete...

Or why I choose a C--peat.

My c-section experience with Slane was not wonderful. 25 hours of labor, more than 2 hours of pushing, and a stuck baby do not make for a pleasant experience. I remember the surgeon telling me that any more babies I had would also be c-sections.

When we got pregnant again, we weren't thrilled with the idea of a repeat c-section. We talked to people who did VBACs, and heard mostly good things. We tried to talk the doctor out of it. Maybe I could just go into labor and then have the c-section. Maybe we could try the VBAC.

But, in the end, we decided to go for the c-peat. Having a VBAC means going to a hospital that supports the liability insurance, but ours does not. I didn't want to travel to a larger city, with a doctor I didn't know, and then after hours of labor end up with a C-section anyway. This baby is going to be very big, and chances are it would get stuck again.

I like our doctor, and I like that she is going to do the surgery. I like our hospital's OB wing, I had a great experience with the nurses, and I want to be in town, so that if Q needs to slip home for something he can and only be gone for a short while. I got so much personal attention with Slane, and I want that again.

Sure, I'm sad that this baby won't get to choose it's birthday, but being in a place that I am comfortable is a tradeoff I'm willing to take.

The end is upon us

of summer, that is.

We haven't posted all summer. Where have we been? Well, enjoying our summer. And I have felt this need to post pictures but have had troubles doing that, so haven't posted anything. Pictures do exist, and are on the computer (at home, not at school where I am right now). I will bug Q until he can help me figure out what is going on with the pictures.

In the meantime...Here is what happened in June.

We went on our big family vacation. We rented a cabin on Lost Island Lake and spent time boating there (thanks Tim for bringing the boat), checking out Okoboji and Arnold's Park, checking out the Grotto of the Redemption, and having fun as a family. It was a relaxing week.

The rest of June was me working on my two online classes and at the Iowa Speedway, going to Mother Goose story time at the library, going to art in the park a couple of times, and Granniecue and Papa came for a week to spend time with Slane.

And on to July...

The first week was camp, which Q was unable to attend, but Slane and I did. Later in the month my mom traveled with Slane and I to West Michigan to spend time with family and friends. Slane got to play with baby Elaina and meet baby Claire, as well as play with our Michigan cousins. I got to catch up with some friends and pick blueberries. Q drove in on Thursday that week and stopped at IKEA on the way so that when my mom left on Friday she could drop our furniture off at our house. We all spent an evening at the lake (75 degrees!!) and had a great time relaxing. Then Q, Slane, and I headed to King's Island in Ohio for a day with his parents, and we all headed back to Columbus to spend a couple more days with them. Our trek home included a visit and lots of playtime with Q's cousin's kids, and then on home. Of course, there were crazy things that happened that week. My grandma fell and broke her kneecap, so after mom got home Grandma moved in with her for a while so she could be taken care of. My uncle went back into the hospital, and as we were leaving Indianapolis we got a text that my cousin (his daughter) had decided to bump up her wedding by almost a year, and it was going to be that night in the hospital chapel. We did make it to the wedding, but it was a stressful drive since we didn't stop to let Slane play and get her wiggles out.

August...

We spent enjoying time together, hiring a landscaper for our yard, and trying to get back on a school schedule. We biked a lot, we visited the coffee shop a lot, and we began preparing for our new baby's arrival. Q cleaned the basement, and we built a lot of furniture. And now we are trying to get back into some kind of routine.

And we WILL get pics up soon. Somehow.

Oops, we skipped May

We were busy. Enjoying the weather, going to concerts, directing concerts, preparing for big work things, setting up big girl beds.

Some May highlights.

Tulip Time. Slane and I met Ema, Ella, and Aunt Brenda for an afternoon among tulips and the parade. Slane insisted I cover her ears for the entire first half of the parade, and Ella drank coffee. The girls had fun and slept well.

Inauguration. Slane and I watched the ceremony with Ahsan, and Q got to represent Hope as a delegate (gown and all).

Goo Goo Ga Ga. We have finally switched Slane from an obsession with the Disney movie Cars to Lion King. Yes, she loves the mommy and we watch that scene 10 or 12 times before we convince her to let us keep watching the rest of the movie. We often spend Saturday mornings all cuddling in bed, and one of those mornings Slane kept saying, "goo goo ga ga." We could not figure out where that was coming from. She kind of knows there is a baby coming, and maybe she was slipping into baby mode or something. Until one day we were watching Lion King, and when Hakuna Matata came up, she said it again, "goo goo ga ga." She was trying to say hakuna matata!

Grinnell Heritage Farm. We bought a share this year in the farm, and the daughter of the owners is Slane's age. They had an asparagus picking event so we went to their farm for a few hours. It rained the whole time, but we did eat a lot of asparagus, and explore the greenhouse, and Slane got to plant a pea plant. She loved it and still asks to go back to the greenhouse.

Commencement. Ahsan, our host student from Pakistan, graduated from Grinnell. His parents came from Pakistan and his brother flew in from Texas (he is at Trinity). We had fun hosting them, getting to know them, eating their food and dressing Slane in the kameez and salwar they brought for her. I'll get pics of that up soon (the pics are all on the computer at home and I tend to post from school). We were proud to see our kid graduate and enjoyed being able to help him out for a few years. Slane will miss her big brother. We do have an open invitation to Islamabad.

They Might Be Giants. Memorial Day weekend was crazy busy, but so much fun. Saturday was rainy so we took apart the day bed in Slane's room and set up her big girl bed. Except for paint and another dresser, that room is new baby ready, and Slane is intermittently sleeping in her big girl bed. Sunday we made a good breakfast and then took Ahsan to the airport. We had tickets to Every Family Rocks, so after the airport and an excellent brunch at the Drake Diner, we headed to the state fairgrounds for the shows. We didn't realize there would be so much else to do, so we made a frame with our picture in it, and Slane did an obstacle course, and we listened to some of the other acts. We did the instrument petting zoo, and ran into some friends from Grinnell. Slane loved the show! She knew some of the songs and the look of pure joy on her face while she and Q were dancing was priceless! She was so into it that she fell asleep a few songs before the end...she is still asking to listen to the Alphabet CD in the car. Then on Monday we went to the family picnic for Grandma's birthday and got to play with several cousins around the same age (give or take a year).

Grandma Camp. Yesterday we swung by Ema's to pick Slane up. It was reunion on campus and Q and I were both working in different capacities (that is his job, I was just doing child care, and as it turned out, rock wall supervising and security at the Harris party), so Slane went to Grandma Camp. She had so much fun! She got to feed chickens and pigs, and ride a horse (I'll have to get that pic from my mom), and "drive" my dad's truck. She was just all smiles when we picked her up. She is at an age where most of the time she is just a lot of fun to hang out with (though she is also testing the waters with a few tatrums here and there).

Other stuff. We had a Level 2 ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. Dr. T asked if there was a history of heart defects in the family, and I have a cousin who was born with a hole in her heart among other issues, so we got the big guns for an ultrasound. It wasn't much different than any other ultrasound, except that they took video of the baby's heartbeat and checked a few other organs as well. We did not find out the gender and that is making my students crazy. They don't understand why one wouldn't find out in advance. Pregnancy is going well otherwise, though I have had a lot of foot and ankle swelling and am extra sweaty.

The shirt has something to say!

At some point during Slane's birthday party a month ago, after the friends left but while the parents and grandparents and godparents were still here, Q changed Slane's shirt...and this is what it said: